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There is a journal, an LJ, I've been following... off and on, from a distance. It's been easy to do, as several of the people I read here regularly also read this LJ, so I've not needed to 'friend' the one in discussion. I didn't want to, not because this is a bad person.

I knew something. I knew it the first time I stopped to read there. That knowing, it's something that comes on me at times. It's frightening. I run from it to no avail, because. Well. Because it can't be run from, really. It's just something. It's me. I do this betimes. I know things. That knowing is a big part of why, when the time came to leave the NICU it was time, now, right now, set things down and walk away. And when the most recent news postings came in those LJ's I read which are one degree of separation... that knowing stirred, and nodded, and all of that added to this week's wierd.

Wierd in the old, old sense, the experiencing a wierding.

This. Whole. Week.

All the dates are lining up on the days as they did 11 years ago. No big deal, really, the calendar does that. Just this year, it is a Wierding for me. And now, I understand a bit better, because once again knowing came and sat within me.


This shortest day, this longest night
Will bring to some the Yule Log's light
To ease the chill of Jack Frost's bite
As world turns 'gain full circle.

Not for this soul, as sun-set press
The sleeping trees in golden dress
For solice search, some kind caress
As world turns 'gain full circle.

When autumn's days became replete
Did Father's days become complete;
When off anon to Maker meet
As world turned 'gain full circle.

Now crisp and clear in darkness round
Do myriad starlit crystals sound:
That here, at end's beginning found
And life turn's 'gain full circle.


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 22nd, 2006 06:02 am (UTC)
I hear you about the LJs......I wander and end up friending friends of some I've wandered through. And sometimes I read a resonse on someone's LJ that gets me curious so I go look *there* and see something else....and so it goes. I only know one of my LJ friends in person so to speak yet I've felt bonded & close enough to some others to want to meet them one day.

The Knowing? I get that,too--not so much online,though,as in "real life"

Very interesting post.Thank you.

BTW--how long did you work in NICU?
Dec. 22nd, 2006 12:17 pm (UTC)
7 years, 8 months.

Used to be it had to be in 'real life', the Knowing. But even there, it isn't anything control-able. Just sometimes... I know. It can be very disconcerting.
Dec. 22nd, 2006 05:56 pm (UTC)
the knowing
A gift and a curse? *wry*
Dec. 22nd, 2006 02:36 pm (UTC)
I suspect I know which journal you are talking about - but old weird is always interesting (says she who still has a rose crystal in her room that she talks to).
Dec. 22nd, 2006 02:48 pm (UTC)
I expect you do, as one of those LJ's common to the one I read is likely the path 'twixt thee and mee meeting. I've come to accept the old wierd. After all, though my family name is patrinymic and devolves from Poland, Prussia, and Alsace-Lorraine, on me mothers side I'm all Irish.

Popper says "G'day"
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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