Houston, we've achieved successful synchronisation. So from the point of view of being a PDA and being a Phone, this toy tool is now classified as useful. It's got my calendar (other than some details, which happened today and which haven't been put into Outlook yet), it's got All Your Phone Numbers (if I possessed your phone number before the synchronisation anyway), and I didn't bother transcribing the To Do list. I'll re-create that as I go.
As for why the sync process wasn't working? A bit more patient detective work (why thank you ofuroyama), and I lay all the responsibility right back where I thought it would arise. It's 90% Microshaft's fault, and 10% Palm's fault for giving up on their OS.