We determined that not only is the hard drive from SWMBO's Gateway gift not booting anymore, the EIDE controller on the motherboard Is Dead, Jim. So even installing a new ATA hard drive, with seperate controller card? Fine, the BIOS will detect the drive, but it's not formatted; and the system won't access Floppy 3.5, nor CD-RW, nor DVD-ROM.
So. After brief phone conversation with SWMBO, a new CPU box is in her future. I'll salvage what parts I can out of the old box.
Just now, it's time for my dinner. Oh, and for a gift to meself. I shall be watching an episode of Deadwood this evening while eating. First season.